As usual, I was in a hurry to get to work. My shoes were nowhere to be found, my car keys were missing, and my hair refused to behave in a civilized manner. By the time I located the misplaced items and got loaded up to go, I realized the sprinkler was still on. Back in the yard, a large black snake lay sunning, right between me and the faucet. This was not good, as I am mortally terrified of snakes.
So I called my neighbor, who is not afraid of snakes. This saintly man coaxed the old reptile away from the faucet with a broom, while I stood, shaking with fear. “I’d invite you in for a beer, but I’m running late,” I explained.
“You always run late. You already three or four years behind everybody else,” he muttered as he walked away. Once again, I cranked my battered beast of a vehicle and headed out.
Only had to stop twice on my way out of Eastpoint. Once, for a family of chickens in my path, and once while Mr. Bass slowly backed his oyster boat into his driveway.
This took more than the usual five minutes, as he had a long heated conversation with a man in a blue truck that was in the road ahead of me. Finally, I reached the bridge. Lots of tourists were on the road, as it was a clear summer weekend. Lots of out-of-state tags and enormous campers with bicycles and canoes strapped to the top. Even though traffic was heavy, it looked like I was going to make it with fifteen minutes to spare!
Until I realized I was right behind a leaky boat that was loaded down with oysters, on a rusty trailer, going thirty miles an hour. As traffic was steady in the oncoming lane, I decided to tough it out and pray my boss was in a good mood when I got there. But someone else was in a hurry. A sleek, silver sports car was right on my tailend. This made me nervous, as he was obviously wanting to pass very badly.
He pulled out, then back into his lane when a school bus appeared, followed by several more cars. “This jerk is trying to get himself killed,” I thought. Once more, he attempted to nose around me, then retreated back when oncoming traffic picked up. A piece of the trailer tire ahead of me peeled off and went flapping onto the side of the bridge. Now, I was really nervous!
That’s when he decided he could outrun a log truck. Sure enough, he pulled around me and gunned it. I could hear the truck driver trying to gear it down, but those logs kept coming. Unfortunately, it is not a good idea to close your eyes when you are driving, but at this point, it was a tempting idea. So I held it straight and prayed. It worked - at the last minute, the sports cars gave up and pulled back behind me.
Finally, he was able to get around and in front of me with mere inches to spare. And immediately got splattered with muddy water that trailed from the oyster boat ahead. The sparkling clean finish on his car was ruined! I chuckled, gloating in his bad luck. And as many times as he tried to pass the boat and its truck, he ended up stuck there.
Much to my surprise, as soon as we came off the bridge, he zipped around the boat and truck and zoomed ahead. This was not smart, as the speed limit was only twenty five miles an hour and there was a double yellow line all the way through town. Then it happened. “Looks like all that hurrying ain’t gonna do you much good now!” I laughed as the state trooper pulled up behind him!
