It was cool and windy. The first monarchs flitted by on long distance wings. Even though Henry didn’t feel like it, he started raking. His yard was littered with leaves and pine straw from the last storm and Wanda, his wife, had hounded him until he raised himself up off the couch. Muttering and cussing, he retrieved his rake from the shed and begrudgingly began the job.
Henry was a tall, lanky man with wispy white hair growing all around the back half of his head. He was naturally lazy and loved nothing better than lying around doing nothing. Wanda was domineering and critical, short and plump, with a head full of fluffy, dyed yellow hair. She always wore lots of green eye shadow and orange lipstick, which made her look a bit like a large parakeet. Henry and Wanda had been married for thirty five years, although she kept claiming there would be no thirty six unless Henry learned to pick up his dirty socks.
Jake, the next door neighbor, sat in his comfortable old rocking chair, smoking his pipe, and watching Henry work. Every now and then, Henry would look over enviously. Finally, he went into the shed, where he had a pint of Evan Williams hidden in a tool box. After a few swigs, he felt better and went back to work. Daisy, Jake’s wife, came out on the porch to feed her cat and saw Henry lollygagging around at his chore. “That’s the laziest man I ever seen!” she commented. Jake nodded in agreement.
After raking a bit more, Henry noticed Wanda taking off to go to her weekly Bingo game. So he went back into the shed again. Jake kept on watching, rocking, and smoking. Finally, this got on Henry’s nerves. So he made another trip to the shed. By this time, he wasn’t bothered by Jake in his comfortable rocking chair, just taking it easy. Then, he decided to turn on the radio and listen to some music as he worked. So he went into the house to get the radio.
When he got inside, he decided to make himself a tomato sandwich. It was so good, he made himself another. Finally, realizing Wanda was due back home in an hour, he grabbed the radio and went back out to the shed. As Hank sang about a cheating heart, Henry began to rake. He was so energized by the tomato sandwiches and bourbon, that he began to rake in time to the music. Then, he began to sing along with the radio as he was raking. In no time at all, the yard was clean!
When Wanda returned home, she was delighted to see the yard raked and Henry happily putting away his things in the shed. In a little while, Daisy, Jake’s wife stopped over to return a cake pan she had borrowed. “How in the world did you get Henry to clean up the yard? That’s the most work I’ve seen him do in months!” she asked.
Wanda went into the pantry and came back with a pint of Evan Williams.“I just make sure he’s got plenty of this,” she laughed, “‘hidden’ away in that tool box in the shed!”
