Mrs. Cass had a beautiful yard. She worked in it all day, pulling weeds, raking, and pruning. She was every bit of eighty years old, but the hard work seemed to agree with her. She was big-boned, silver-haired, and sharp-witted. One day, little Abbey and Dorian, who lived across the street, were out playing late in the afternoon, when they heard a horrible shrieking coming from Mrs. Cass’s house. They ran inside to get Aunt Sybil, who lived with them. She was short, shapely, curly-haired, and flirtatious. In her haste to rush to the aid of Mrs. Cass, she forgot that she was clad only in her robe and slippers. She followed the children outside in alarm, grabbing a large frying pan on her way out, in case there was trouble.The screaming continued, and the three ran as fast as they could to Mrs. Cass’s house. They found her with a garden hose turned up full blast as she hung on to the door frame and continued yelling at the top of her lungs. She saw them and pointed to the hydrangea hedge that lined the side of her house.
Sybil crept stealthily up to the hedge, wielding the frying pan in front of her. She didn’t see anything but big blue flowers and a piece of a pine stick that had fallen into the hedge. As she edged closer, she decided that caution was better than courage. She urged the children to run down to Mr. Burgess’s house and bring him back immediately. Mr. Burgess was a big, handsome man and a former Marine, who was known for his bravery. They ran off, hollering and waving their arms and alarming everybody on the whole street. By the time they got back with Mr. Burgess, a whole crowd had gathered in Mrs. Cass’s yard.
“Stand back!” ordered Mr. Burgess, who had come over wielding a large shovel. He poked at the hydrangeas, then jumped when the pine stick moved.
“There’s something in there!" yelled Dorian.
Sure enough, the flowers thrashed around, then stopped abruptly. Everyone edged closer.
“Eyeballs!” screamed Abbey.
“I see them, too!” added Mrs. Cass. Mr. Burgess raised his shovel and stepped closer. Everyone got still and held their breath as the shovel was raised.
Just before he brought it down into the bushes, a large snout appeared through the leaves. Behind it were the eyeballs. “Alligator!” screeched Abbey.
And sure enough, it came lumbering forward, towards the crowd. Mr. Burgess held the shovel up and got between it and the frightened neighbors. Finally, the creature stopped. “We’ll have to call the game warden!” exclaimed Mr. Burgess, who wasn’t anxious to tangle with the agitated reptile.
By this time, everyone was in high excitement, and inching closer to the gator to get a better look. When the game warden arrived, he blew his horn to warn everyone to stand back. Instead, it startled Mrs. Cass, who turned towards the road, still holding the hose. This resulted in her spraying down the entire group, including the gator and the game warden.
Aunt Sybil got the worst of it and she jumped forward in an attempt to get out of the stream. When she did, she stepped on the alligator’s tail. The creature swung around, jaws wide open, bellowing a horrible roar. That’s when Mr Burgess came to the rescue. He stuck the handle of the shovel in the gator’s mouth. The animal immediately clamped down on it, reducing it to splinters.This allowed the game warden time to net it and secure it’s mouth with rope.
“You saved me!” gushed Aunt Sybil as she threw her arms around Mr. Burgess. She continued to express her gratitude as he eyeballed her curves, which were readily apparent through the soggy robe. As the game warden drove away with the alligator safely trussed in the back of his truck, the group began to disperse. Dorian went and turned off the hose before Mrs. Cass could do any more spraying and Abbey went over to calm her down. In the meantime, Aunt Sybil had invited Mr. Burgess over for a cold beer while he continued to ogle her. Pretty soon, they both disappeared into the house across the street.
“Guess that’s all the excitement we’ll get today!” exclaimed Dorian.
“I wouldn’t bet on it!” replied the old lady as Mrs. Burgess came stomping up the street, with fire in her eyes and a rolling pin in her hand.
