“Here - duct tape will fix anything!” declared Suzanne as Al, the handyman, grinned at her and reached out for the tape in her hand. “Tape it real good. That stuff lasts for years.” Suzanne went on.
Al sighed as he wrapped the vacuum cleaner hose. Doofus, the new puppy, had chewed it up pretty good. He looked around and saw that Doofus was sitting right next to him, watching and wagging his tail. “Bad dog,” he said, as Doofus began licking his arm.
“While you’re here, how about fixing the phone cord and T.V. cable?” asked Suzanne.
Al looked at the cord, shook his head, and pulled out his pocket knife. He began to scrape off the rubber in order to splice it back together again. “You need to get that dog a chew shoe,” he suggested.
“You reckon that’ll keep him from chewing up the rest of the house?” Suzanne inquired.
“Worked on my dog,” Al replied emphatically.
While Al finished that up and began splicing back the T.V. cable, Suzanne went and looked through the closet for a pair of old shoes. She found some scuffed up loafers that her husband hadn’t worn in years. “Will this do?” she asked as she held one out for Al’s inspection.
“Try it,” said Al. Doofus looked at the shoe. “Here, puppy, chew on this,” coaxed Suzanne.
Doofus wagged his tail, sniffed the shoe, and began chewing on a corner of the rug. “Put butter on it. That’ll get him started,” Al suggested.
So Suzanne took the shoe into the kitchen. She rinsed it off, smeared butter on it, and took it back in to Doofus. He laid down with the shoe, licked the butter off, and went back to chewing on the rug.
“You’re all fixed,” smiled Al as he headed towards the door.
“Thanks for fixing everything, but it looks like the shoe didn’t work.” Suzanne shrugged.
“Well, heat up some bacon grease and let it soak into that loafer for awhile. That way the taste soaks into the leather and Doofus won’t want to chew on anything else,” answered Al.
So she took the shoe back into the kitchen and set a frying pan on the stove. She put some bacon grease in the pan to let it warm up and melt. Then, she put the shoe in the pan so it would absorb the flavor. Just to pep it up a bit, she added seasoned salt and some onion powder. Around about that time, her husband came home from work. He sniffed the air and said, “Mmmm hmmm! Something sure smells good.”
Suzanne got a spatula out of a drawer and got ready to flip the shoe just as he stuck his head in the kitchen door. “Honey?” he started nervously, “Don’t you think it could use a little TENDERIZER?”
